My Life Diary

Right Vs Right

11th October 2005

Right Vs Right

( Right is taken as meaning just, proper, fair etc. The other meaning of ‘entitlement, privilege, due, justification etc’ is not implied in the following note)

We are often caught in the selection of right from the wrong. We want to do things which are right. We expect everybody to do the same thing. We believe that if everybody is honest, does right thing, does not harm other etc we all will be living in a paradise on this planet. The problem, according to us, is that there are some people who are unscrupulous, selfish, liars, cheats etc and there are many people who do nothing about these ‘some’ people.

The religions Guru of all the religions bombard us with the lessons of ethics, morality, virtuous living etc. Social activists tell us about the social evils. We are born and brought up in this atmosphere of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ things.

With all the life’s experiences behind me, I am coming to the opinion that the problem lies in defining who is ‘we’ and who are ‘they’. We have basic assumption that there is absolute truth. And that truth is on our side !

When I am saying that I am right and the other person is wrong, that other person also feels that he is right and I am wrong. He may even be far more aggrieved party than me. He has his version of the story and it may be an honest version according to him. But I am blinded by the belief in ‘my right’ thing. On many occasions the battle is between ‘my right’ Vs ‘his right’. If we remove the common factor of ‘right’ from this equation, it simply becomes ‘Me’ Vs ‘He’.

So then what is the solution ? The religious guru will tell us to ‘love each other, to do sacrifice, be peaceful’ etc. I am afraid it is not the solution. I do not wish to forgo the right (meaning entitlement) of right (meaning justified thing). And why should I ? Afterall I am right and he is wrong.

Some may suggest a fair compromise. Again it will not be solution because any compromise only postpones the problem, it does not solve.

The above is not a hypothetical situation. It is very very real and we face these situations several times in a day. We only do not realize it.

The legal minded will try to interpret the law in the particular matter. But law is designed by humans and the interpretations is to be done by human and there is ‘right’ way of interpretation and ‘wrong’ way of interpretation. So the question becomes about the law being on my side Vs the feeling of the other party that either the law is on his side or the law is not applicable or the law is unfair or the law is misinterpreted. It poses more questions than it answers.

I am offering somewhat different solution. We all should assert our way of doing things and at the same time try to understand as to how the other party believes that he is also right. If we try to honestly know the mind of the other party, we will understand that behind this battle of ‘Right Vs Right’ there is another hidden element of what is beneficial. What is beneficial to me is not necessarily what is right. If I am fighting for what is beneficial to me, then the rules of the game are totally different. The Jungle Law will apply in such situation. Let us not confuse these two issues.

We may not find any right and perfect solution for this dilemma. Anybody who offers a ‘packaged’ solution is cheating. But we will realize that there is no ‘absoluteness’ to our firm conviction about the ‘right’ thing. We will also come to know that the battle really is between not right Vs wrong but between ‘my right’ Vs ‘his right’. In such situations we should be guided by our own individual ‘call of the Self’. If we feel of forgoing our right (i.e. entitlement) to right (i.e. justified thing), we may do so, or we may continue the battle. There is no definite solution. If the call of our Self is to fight and we give up after listening to some Guru, we will keep the problem un-resolved in our mind and the ghost of this unresolved conflict will subtly and behind the scene influence our future thought pattern.

Instead of finding or even expecting to find any definite solution, we should understand that it is the process of resolving the conflict which is important. This process of conflict resolution will give us many insights of the nature of human mind and this insight will make us more mature and add more depth to our understanding the Life. The most fundamental condition for this Process to become beneficial to our understanding of the Life is that we should look behind the veil of Ego and try to see and understand the real issue involved. It will help us understand a bit of Truth. Instead of being a stressful event the ‘Truth Conflict’ will become a game of life and the joy of Play will be ours in abundance.

प्रस्तुतकर्ता Shrikant @ 2:43 pm